Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
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I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
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Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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