Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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