I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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