is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
