I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
