So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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