you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
