i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I party with great urgency now.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
