Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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