He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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