***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I have aggressive nipples.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
