haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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