He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
