I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
