so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
