dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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