omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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