im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize