the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
