Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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