4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
