Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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