3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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