FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
