what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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