is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I didn't notice because vodka
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
