the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
