She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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