Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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