I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
