Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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