As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
