nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
