Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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