hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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