Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
this is an emotional support booty call
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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