I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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