please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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