it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
