no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
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Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
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How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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