maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize