He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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