did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
