So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
