Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
