i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
