Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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