My liver just broke up with me...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
