Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
no you cant smoke seaweed
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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