is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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