Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
sex in a hospital.. check
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
