guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
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