Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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