ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
