Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize