OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
