what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
