life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
