why didn't you poke me back
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
