That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
