I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
