Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
