Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize