the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Pooping to opera.
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