think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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