he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
