Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
