He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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