How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
